Written and Published by Christine Mayard
Taking care of yourself can sometimes feel selfish. You may feel guilty for saying no, taking a break, spending time alone, or doing something simply because it makes you happy.
For many people, especially those who are used to putting everyone else's needs before their own, prioritizing themselves can feel uncomfortable.
But self-care isn't selfish. Taking care of your mental, emotional, and physical well-being is an important part of living a healthy life.
Why Do We Feel Guilty for Taking Care of Ourselves?
Many of us are taught to put others first. Parents may prioritize their children, partners may prioritize each other, and people caring for family members may put their own needs aside.
Over time, this can make us feel like taking time for ourselves is something we have to earn.
You might think:
"I should be doing something productive."
"How can I treat myself, when someone else needs me?”
"I don't have time for myself."
"I feel bad saying no."
“I don’t deserve to treat myself.”
But you don't have to earn the right to take care of yourself.
Setting Boundaries and Saying No
Taking care of yourself sometimes means setting boundaries.
You can care about someone and still say, "I can't do that right now."
You can love your family and still need time for yourself.
You can be a supportive partner and still have your own needs.
Saying no doesn't make you selfish. Healthy boundaries allow you to care for others without completely neglecting yourself.
Something important to note: We can't always show up for others and pour into their cups when our own cup is empty. Whether you're a caregiver, parent, partner, spouse, teacher, doctor, therapist, or someone others regularly depend on, it's important to make sure your own needs are being met, too. When we constantly give without taking time to recharge, we can eventually find ourselves running on empty. And when we're running on empty, it becomes much harder to be present, supportive, and helpful to the people around us 💕.
You Don’t Have to Be Busy All the Time
In a culture that often celebrates being busy, resting can sometimes feel unproductive. But rest is not laziness.
Whether you're single, married, a parent, a caregiver, or balancing a demanding career, you still deserve time for yourself.
Self-care can be as simple as:
Getting enough sleep
Spending time with friends
Enjoying a hobby
Going for a walk
Having some quiet time
Doing something that brings you joy
So what does self-care actually look like for you? It doesn't have to be expensive, elaborate, or look like something you saw on Instagram. Self-care is personal. What works for someone else may not be what makes you feel refreshed or happy.
Give yourself permission to do what genuinely brings you joy, whether that's reading a book, spending time with loved ones, watching your favorite show, taking a quiet evening to yourself, or simply getting some much-needed rest.
Self-care isn't about doing what social media says you should do—it's about doing what actually feels good and healthy for you.
Giving Yourself Compassion
Self-care can also mean being kind to yourself when you don't make the "perfect" choice.
One of our therapists, Anthony Serraneau, shared his own experience with feeling guilty about eating unhealthy food:
“I feel the most guilt when I eat out, specifically unhealthy food. I work through it by reframing how I see the situation. I just rationalize that I don’t eat unhealthy food every day, and I have some compassion for myself when I’m feeling those guilty feelings.”
Sometimes, taking care of yourself means changing the way you talk to yourself. One decision doesn't define you, and you don't have to punish yourself for enjoying something or taking time for yourself.
Instead, try offering yourself the same compassion you would give someone you love.
Taking Care of Your Mental Health Without Shame
Self-care also includes taking care of your mental health.
There is no shame in wanting support or going to therapy. You don't have to wait until you're in a crisis to talk to a therapist. Why wait until you're in crisis to ask for help when you can take steps to care for your mental health before things get to that point?
Therapy can provide a safe space to work through stress, anxiety, relationship challenges, life changes, or simply better understand yourself—all of which can help prevent challenges from reaching a crisis point.
You Matter, Too!
Taking care of yourself doesn't mean putting everyone else last. It means remembering that you are on the list, too.
Your needs, feelings, and mental health matters too.
Try This!
The next time you feel guilty for taking time for yourself, ask: "Would I tell someone I love that they don't deserve to rest or take care of themselves?"
If the answer is no, try giving yourself that same compassion.
Let Us Help You Learn to Put You First
Learning to prioritize yourself can feel uncomfortable, especially if you're used to putting everyone else's needs before your own. Learning to prioritize yourself takes practice. And if you're not sure where to start, we're here to help you get there!
At Challenges Conquered Counseling, our diverse team of clinicians provides compassionate, culturally responsive care for individuals, couples, families, and children. We strive to create a safe and welcoming environment where you can feel heard and supported.
Whether you're struggling with stress, anxiety, relationship challenges, burnout, life changes, or simply want to better understand yourself, therapy can provide the support and tools you need to move forward.
You don't have to feel guilty for taking care of yourself. You deserve support, too!
Ready to take the next step in your mental health journey? Contact us today to schedule an appointment. We offer secure telehealth services throughout Florida, with in-person appointments available in Fort Lauderdale and Jacksonville.